Untitled
by Dispatch22705
Summary: This is a 'first time' two part story of B B. Kind of angsty, hopefully not too OOC. Brennan decides she can't take it anymore and wants to know. Chapter Two will be Booth's viewpoint, entitled, "Fine". Let me know what you think!
1. Knowing

**Hey BONES fans! How art thou! Good, I hope! I am still working on the epilogue for the weeks, but i was somewhat challenged (of my own doing) to write this story. I had the idea, and I had promised sleeplessinatlanta that i would do a story if she would be so kind as to put together a little one shot of an FBI gala mentioned in another one of her stories. Breaking all the Rules is the main story. It's good, and worth your time.**

**So this will be a two-parter, like her gift to me. And it's dedicated to her, for her kindness and encouragement. Especially for Fantasy Week: Brennan Edition. I never would have made it through that without her help. Plus she gave me the idea for sex in public, which led to them buying the bed, so I'll always be grateful for that gem!**

**Anyways, here's something else you should know about me. I'm firmly in the camp that believes that Brennan is who Dr. Wyatt was talking about when he told Sweets that "one of them is acutely aware of that attraction, struggles with it daily as a matter of fact".**

**I mean, Brennan IS an anthropologist. She's the one who would be the most aware of her own body and what it wants. She also would be the one to admit to herself that she wants Booth and there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, never once in the entire show has she ever denied it. She might say it's not appropriate, or that Booth doesn't feel the same way, but she has never once indicated that she doesn't want him. But…that word, struggles! Ah, that's such a Booth thing, isn't it? Okay, okay…so maybe 'firmly in the camp' is the wrong phrase. Let's say…I'm 72% in the camp that Brennan is the one Dr. Wyatt was talking about. They weren't talking love, and just from a sexual attraction standpoint…I still think it's Brennan who's the most aware.**

**Set after Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (so some slightly spoilerish dialogue), and for story purposes, exactly one year after Man in the Outhouse.**

**--b&b--**

**6:00 AM**

Brennan's fingers tightened in the sheets beneath her as the all too familiar dream took over.

_'…I assume you are sexually active…'_

_Booth's lips curled up in a slight smile and his fingers fluttered between them, "I do fine"_

_I do fine, I do fine, I do fine, I do fine, I do fine, I do fine, I do fine, I do fine, I do fine, I do fine….._

Brennan sat up with a rush at her alarm, pulling off her satin eyemask and groaning toward the clock. The spot she couldn't reach between her shoulders ached, and her inner thighs were tense with another unfulfilled night of tossing and turning, no relief in sight.

With a sigh, she shoved the covers off of her waist and walked to her bathroom, turning on her shower and standing underneath.

**--b&b—**

**9:30 AM:**

"You know" Angela grinned as she looped her arm with Brennan's, both women walking slowly down the street after they left their diner breakfast, "All that talk about sex with Parker really_, really_ started reminding me that this whole celibacy thing is totally crazy, right?"

Brennan frowned, "I'm not sure what it is, but something about your word choice would be what Booth would call 'not right', Ange."

Angela laughed. "True, sweetie…very true. I didn't mean sex with Parker, that would just be gross. I just meant that talking about it, when Parker brought it up, THAT's what's on my mind."

"I see" Brennan nodded and hailed them a cab, "That makes more sense."

Once they settled in the backseat, Angela turned toward her with a conspiratory grin, "So do you think it's true?"

"Do I think what's true, Ange?"

"Do you think Booth's really hard up?" Angela smirked. "I mean, not that I've thought about it…_much_" she grinned wider, "But…do you think he's getting any?"

Brennan swallowed, her fingers clenching in the skirt of her dress, "He said he does fine, so I'm sure that…"

"Whoa…whoa, _what_?" Angela stopped her, "When did he say that? When did you talk about sex with Booth? Not that it's not hot, but when I asked him about it, he just said I didn't know anything about his sex life."

Brennan looked out the window before turning to meet Angela's wide and smiling eyes. "It was one year ago", she admitted before looking back out the window. _One year ago today_, she realized with a shock. Her eyes widened, and she looked back at Angela.

"What, Bren?" Angela smiled curiously, "What's the matter?"

Brennan schooled her features and shook her head, a slight smile curving one side of her mouth, "It's nothing."

"Brennan…"

"Ange, I mean it…" Brennan's tone brooked no argument, and she smiled again, "It's nothing…nothing at all."

Angela just shrugged and turned away. "Did Parker ask you to be Booth's girlfriend?"

Brennan chuckled and then reached into her purse to pay cab fare, "Yes. Booth grew quite flustered, but when I asked Parker's true intent, he revealed that he just wanted a pool."

"Ah…" Angela chuckled. "Like his friend…"

"Exactly," Brennan smiled and opened her door, "So…I gave them the guest key to my complex's pool and that was the end of that…"

Angela watched as Brennan walked ahead of her back toward the Jeffersonian. "I doubt that" she muttered to herself.

"What's that, Angela?" Brennan turned and waited.

"Oh…it's _nothing_" Angela smiled to herself, "_Nothing at all_."

If Brennan noticed her words being thrown back at her, she didn't comment.

**--b&b—**

"Ah…" Booth opened his hands wide and grinned from the lab platform, "There she is…"

His eyes were wide and smiling, and Brennan cursed the way the dimple in his left cheek made her fingers tremble as she scanned in her ID card. "What do you want, Booth?"

"Hmmm…excuse me, Dr. Negative" he smiled and leaned his narrow hips against the lab table, "I was kind of hoping you might have an ID for me…yeah?" he charmed and waved his file folder in front of her face.

Brennan swatted him away and pulled her labcoat from the rack before putting it on, quickly buttoning up and pulling on gloves, "Not yet, Booth. I told you I'd call you when we had a positive ID."

Booth's smile fell just a bit, and he leaned in closer, the scent of his aftershave making Brennan's stomach clench in anticipation, "Well, sorry, Bones, I just thought maybe I'd get lucky…" he murmured, leaning over her shoulder as she worked, as if he could somehow figure out the identity of their victim.

If Brennan believed in luck, she'd say this was just so, so, so unfair. "Back off, Booth…" she ducked away from him and walked to the other side of the table, "Let me do my work, and I'll call you when I am finished, like I said."

Booth frowned now, "What gives, Bones?"

"Hmmm?" she asked, pretending not to know why he might be confused.

"What's the matter?" Booth put his hands on his hips, "Is something wrong?"

Brennan stood up straight and schooled her features, ignoring the way his long straight tie led directly toward his other potentially long and straight parts, "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

His head tilted to the side, "Nah, Bones…come on, what's going on?"

"Nothing, Booth" Brennan insisted, her voice rising slightly in pitch, "I told you…I'm fine."

"Please" Booth scoffed, "People who _say_ they are fine are never really _fine_. That's just something people say when something's _wrong_."

Brennan's hands tightened on the edge of the table, but she didn't look up, "Is that true?"

Booth chuckled, "Well, yeah, Bones. It's just one of those things. So why don't you tell me what's wrong."

But Brennan didn't answer. Instead, she met his eyes, "So when someone says they do fine, is that a lie, too?"

Genuine confusion crossed Booth's expression and he pursed his lips, "I suppose so, like…what do you mean, money or something?"

"Something like that" Brennan murmured and went back to work.

Booth eyed her for another moment and then shrugged, "Call me when you have an ID, Bones" he called as he walked down the platform steps and out of the lab.

**--b&b--**

**9:30 PM**

Brennan sensed that her partner was looking at her in quick glances. As they drove back into town from solving their newest case, his fingertips were tapping against the steering wheel in his usual rhythm, and it was all she could do not to yell at him to Just. Stop. It.

But she knew he'd know something was really wrong with her then, and she'd be forced to explain. Not that she didn't welcome open and frank discussion, quite the contrary. But in this instance, she knew that if she really told Booth what she was thinking, if she actually told him what she was _feeling_, he'd make some snarky comment or shift uncomfortably in his seat and try to make her feel guilty.

To be fair, though, it wasn't necessarily his fault that with every tap of his blunt fingertips against the steering wheel, she wondered what the same fingers would do to the front clasp of her bra. And when his thumbs stroked up and down in countertime to his beat, she clenched her thighs together to quell the thought of what those same thumbs might do just under the seam of her underwear.

"Dinner, Bones?" he cleared his throat, and for a moment, she thought maybe he'd guessed the train of her thoughts, but when Brennan looked at the sleek line of his profile, she couldn't see any particular nervousness in his countenance.

He turned and met her eyes, and a cocky smile curved up the side of his mouth, and his throat worked just a tiny bit as he swallowed. "Thai?"

"Sure" was all she answered, as she clasped her hands in her lap and turned to look out the window again. In the glass, she could see a slight reflection, and she knew he was still looking at her every once in awhile.

But she wasn't going to look back. Not tonight.

She waited in the SUV while he went inside and paid, carrying out the food and setting it into the backseat before he returned to the driver seat and drove the rest of the way to her apartment. Thankfully, although she did feel a twinge of guilt at the thought, they'd both had a rough night. Yes, they'd caught a bad guy and saved potential lives, but it still didn't prevent her from feeling slightly icky all over. But she was thankful because at least there was a good excuse for her silence. Booth would never know the difference. She would just eat dinner with him, laugh at his jokes whether she got them or not, and then go to bed. Alone. Again.

While he did fine.

Damn it.

**--b&b--**

They'd settled against her couch and talked about the case, nothing unusual there. And like normal, Brennan watched as Booth fingered his poker chip, as he ran his palms against his long jeans clad legs. If she looked closely enough, she thought she could see the calloused skin at the base of his palms. That part of his hands had haunted many of her dreams as she'd imagined the slightly rough scrape of them across her sensitive nipples. Would he cup her first and then rub? Or would he use his thumbs? Ah…

Pulling in a shuddered breath, wondering at first why this night she couldn't seem to compartmentalize it all, and then knowing that it was the fact that it had been an entire year since she'd slept with a man…it was more than she could take. Brennan gathered up her half empty plate and walked to the kitchen.

"Bones?"

She bit her lip as she tossed her uneaten food down her sink, hoping Booth would just drop it, guessing that he wouldn't. but she'd never expected to feel his warm palm press _oh right there_, right against the small of her back. And all of a sudden, he was right there.

"Bones…listen. I know something's up. You can tell me. You can tell me anything."

Brennan turned her face and met his eyes, and he nodded encouragingly, the side of his hand rubbing infinitesimally against the top line of her pants.

"What is it, Bones?"

Brennan turned toward him, causing his hand to fall away from her back. She cursed the sense of loss she felt, and then knew that it was time. She had to know; otherwise she was liable to lose even more sleep. "I…" she opened her mouth to answer him. Words failed her for just a moment, but then she told the truth, the one thing she always had, what she always needed. "I need to know."

Booth paused, and his head tilted to the side just a fraction. "You need to know what?"

"I need to _know_…" she repeated, moving to stand very close to him. She didn't touch him at all, just kept her eyes locked with his, hoping his gut wouldn't fail him now.

"Oh."

The silence was sucked from between them, and all she could do was try to breathe in, concentrating on the hummingbird pitch of friction warming between them. He wasn't backing away; that was probably a good sign.

But Brennan had thought too soon, because in the next second, he had taken a step back, a slight smirk on the side of his face. "Good one, Bones."

She swallowed and clenched her jaw, ignoring his joke for the sake of her own pride. Turning back to the sink, she wrenched on the water, scrubbing her plate for much longer than it needed.

A part of her hoped that when she turned around, he'd be gone. Then at least she'd have an answer. But when she shut off the water, much more methodical, and turned, he was standing there, his hands in his pockets, a question in his eyes.

Brennan supposed she owed him an explanation, "I need to know. Just once. The not knowing is making me lose sleep. I find it hard to concentrate on our professional tasks. And beyond that…"

When she trailed off, Booth's stance widened just an inch, and his hips rocked forward without his control. She suspected he didn't even know he'd done it; it was just a psychosomatic reaction to their conversation.

"Beyond that…" she continued, hoping that by making it personal, he might give in. "Personally…I want to know."

His left eyebrow cocked at that, and his hands left his pockets as his arms crossed over his chest. "It doesn't work that way, Bones."

Anger rose up in her at his dismissal. "Well…why not?" She stepped past him and grabbed a towel from her fridge door, wiping her wet hands before tossing the towel to her counter. "Why can't it work that way?"

"Because…" Booth grabbed onto her elbow when she went to walk past him again. Brennan froze and met his eyes, and she saw a flicker of smolder there. "Because once we know, then…we _know_."

She wrenched her arm free and poked his chest. Emotions unlike she'd ever experienced slid to the surface quicker than she could anticipate, and before she could close that lid and forget about it, she opened her mouth. "_Not_ knowing is worse. How can anything be worse than not knowing? I've spent my entire adult life trying to learn things, and the one thing I can't learn is standing right here in my kitchen, telling me I can't. I can't? I have to…" she poked him again, and then stepped back.

Her entire chest burned with…pure unadulterated _emotion_. "But fine. FINE! You want to 'do fine', then go right ahead, Booth. See if I care. I'm tired of waiting. A whole year I've waited, and _learned_ all the right things to say and do, for someday, and someone. But you never noticed. You're too busy _doing fine_. Well that's _fine_ by me. But Booth, not knowing…it's worse. It's worse than fine."

She could see that he knew exactly what she was talking about. What had started out that morning as a little bickering session now came back full force, and in his eyes, she could see that he was remembering that night, a year ago. Maybe it was the Thai food again that triggered it, maybe it was the date, but she knew she couldn't wait any more.

"I _need_ to _know_, Booth."

Suddenly, he turned and walked out of the kitchen, toward the front door. He made it as far as her couch, and paused, his back to her, his hand clenching the back of the sofa cushions. "You need to think, here, Bones" he rasped. "Because I don't think you've thought this through. Knowing is _worse_. Because once you know, you can't unknow it. No matter how hard you try. And look…" he turned, and she knew he was going to try to make her see. "We only get one first time, and when that happens, it needs to be special, not because…"

"What did you say?" she asked as she moved to the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

He didn't guess her meaning and just nodded. "Good, you understand. Look Bones, I'm not saying this is easy, but--"

"Did you say, when?"

He blinked, and then paused before rubbing his palm over his chest for a moment as his eyes went blank and then dark with understanding. "Bones…"

Brennan moved to stand in front of him. "You said when. _When_. You're waiting for something, for some moment. But…why? Why are we waiting, when we could know?"

It wasn't even about sex anymore, Brennan admitted to herself. It was about learning. Learning the shape of his back where it hit his waist. Learning what he tasted like, right at the base of his throat. Learning what it would take to make him gasp out her first name. Learning the limit to his—

"Okay…"

She blinked, thinking she'd imagined the whispered reply, but when she met his eyes, she saw her answer.

"Once," he added, and she nodded.

"Once. So we'll know."

They stared at one another for long moments, sizing each other up. In Brennan's mind, she felt the pleasurable sensation of inquiry begin at the back of her neck, moving toward the front of her brain. She carefully reached out in front of her and settled her fingers against his stomach. Other than the slight movement of his muscles underneath the cotton of his shirt, he was immovable.

Anxious to learn all there was to know about his body, Brennan started with the bottom button and worked her way up to where the shirt was already open against his strong neck. For a moment, she just stared at his chest, the six inch gap of his warm dark skin in contrast to his perfectly black shirt. Her hands were still clutching the fabric near his neck, and she moved it back further, stepping forward to slide his shirt over his shoulders. Brennan couldn't help but inhale a deep breath at the scent of his bare skin. She'd seen him like this, years ago, but he'd belonged to someone else then.

When she looked up, she saw that his eyes had never left her face, and her lips parted at the way his nostrils flared in interest. As her hands clutched his shirt against his strong shoulders, she leaned in further, stepping up to her tiptoes to press her mouth against his. But at the last moment, he turned away, pulling back his gaze and face from hers.

Brennan stood in shock for a second before moving back. "You're compartmentalizing."

There was no accusation in her tone, merely observation. His cheek twitched in half of a sad smile. "You understand, right?"

She felt a twinge in her lower belly at his raspy tone, the way he was begging her to undertand, and she nodded. She _did_ understand. And she realized in that moment that he was doing this for her. He was letting her do this.

So she could _know_.

It made her want to honor him, to reward him for giving what he wanted to keep. For letting her know what he wanted to ignore.

Brennan stepped behind him to allow herself to gain composure, to allow them both the freedom from each other's gaze. His arms went slack as she pulled his shirt all the way off of his body. She folded it carefully against the back of her couch, and then gently let her hands rest against his spine. He stiffened a bit, and she pulled back. But his body seemed to lean back imperceptibly, and she took that as a sign to continue.

Standing behind him afforded her the chance to examine him in all of his magnitude. Clothed, Booth was an impressive specimen, but without his shirt on, she could see each and every muscle in his back and arms. Her fingertips skated against his skin, over and to the side to trace each rib under solid muscle. There were scars there, ones she didn't know anything about. And her mind raced with the new information. He was tan, even though she'd never really seen him without a shirt on, even when it was so hot in the summer he'd once told her he could fry an egg against the hood of his car. She smiled at that and let her thumbs massage gently down the length of his spine, not missing the way his buttocks clenched in aroused reaction. "You really do have amazing musculature, Booth. In fact, I'd say it's the most impressive I've ever seen on a male form before. You should--"

"—No talking…" his whispered request was gruff and harsh, velvety and hoarse as he begged her. "Please. Just...I can't take it..."

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her. But she would just keep her thoughts to her own mind.

Brennan ran her hands more firmly against his back and then slid them around to trace his chest and stomach. Wanting a better view, she walked around to face him, letting her fingers settle in the grooves between his abdominal muscles. A smile ghosted her lips at his remarkable structure and the play of his muscles under her touch. Her hands slid up to cup against his nipples for a second, then skated over them. She ignored his groan, but catalogued it away as she cupped his shoulders again, this time without his shirt in the way. He'd only prevented her from kissing his mouth, and she took a chance, leaning in to press her lips against the side of his neck. She felt his skin tighten as he swallowed, but he didn't say anything, and instead just widened his stance as she began to gently kiss the base of his throat, running the tip of her tongue against his firm jawline. Oh, he was so gorgeous.

When she nuzzled the tip of her nose just underneath his right ear, his hips shot forward, and Brennan paused. She pulled back and met his eyes, noticing the flush against his cheeks. Realizing she'd just discovered one of his erogenous zones, she felt a moment of hesitation. There was vulnerability in his eyes, and she began to comprehend what he meant about knowing and unknowing. She would always know that about him now. And it made her wonder who else knew that about him. This was a make or break moment, and if he pulled back, she'd have no choice but to let him.

But he didn't pull back. Instead, his eyes fluttered shut and then reopened, almost in a challenge. Brennan let go of his shoulders and let her hands settle against the buckle of his pants. It released quickly and easily, much more so than she'd ever imagined, and she set it against his shirt on her couch. Her nimble fingers slowly lowered the zipper of his pants, and she could hear the way he was pulling in his breath through his nose; she could see the way his chest was expanding as he inhaled as deep as he could.

Bending to her knees, she worked his pants down his legs. His hands shot out to the couch behind him for balance as she lifted one foot and then the other to remove his jeans completely off of his body. For a moment, Brennan just stared at his feet.

She couldn't formulate a hypothesis on why, but for some reason, the sight of Booth's feet in his brightly striped socks gave her pause. She began to see again what he meant about not being able to unknow. His socks just seemed so…_intimate_, more intimate than anything she'd done that evening. She traced her index fingers against the stripes, and her throat closed a small portion. This was Booth.

_Booth._

He may have had a cramp, or maybe he was ticklish, she didn't know. But the arch of his left foot retracted when she ran her fingernail against his toes, and Brennan suspended her movement for a second before she let her hands move up to just below his calf muscle. She tucked her thumbs below his sock line, feeling the crisp leg hair there and then tugged down, first one sock, and then the other. She stared at them in her hands in silence before solemnly folding them together, setting them near her side.

She heard Booth pull in a deep sigh, and wondered what he was thinking. But she was too shy to meet his eyes. She wasn't sure what she would find there, and to be honest, she wasn't sure what he'd be able to see in her gaze as well.

Instead, Brennan ran her hands up the backs of his lower legs, caressing his skin, learning the way his knees buckled a bit as she thumbed his kneecaps. Her fingers trailed through his leg hair up his warm thighs until they reached the edge of his boxer shorts. She'd seen him in loose shorts before, but tonight he was wearing soft cotton boxers that molded to his thighs and bottom. Brennan sat up higher on her knees until her face was level with his waist. The dark blue material was just so…normal that once again Brennan hesitated. But her curiousity won out, and she nudged his underwear down his hips and legs, leaning down again to pull them off of his feet. Once she set them by his socks, she straightened.

She'd promised him she wouldn't talk, but she couldn't prevent the breathy "_Oh_…" that escaped her lips at the sight of him.

He was perfect. Better than she'd ever imagined, and she'd imagined a lot. But somehow, he was just more Booth than she'd dreamed.

His length was long and…steady. Not a word she'd ever used to describe male anatomy before, but here it was accurate. His physical interest in her and her touch was obvious in the way his arousal was stretched toward her. Brennan let her fingers smooth over his perfectly straightened shaft, and he groaned too, the sound rising from deep in his chest. When she lightened her touch and fondled him, his hips shifted. "Don't tease me."

She met his eyes then, for the first time in awhile and saw that they were almost glazed over with restraint. Desire rushed over her, and she forgot her clinical approach.

"Don't tease me" he repeated. "No teasing, and no talking. Please."

Brennan swallowed and bit her bottom lip as she looked back to the proof of his desire for her. She leaned in and rested her lips against his swollen head. A soft whimper escaped her lips at his taste, and she couldn't help but open her mouth around him, pulling him inside of her. Where she'd meant to go slow and learn, now she was caught up in the firestorm of want. She took him inside her mouth, as deep as he could go and then pulled him out slowly, studying his reactions, learning his natural rhythm and taste, slowly repeating the motion until his hand clenched in her hair.

"Enough" he growled, and she complied, pulling off of him entirely and standing up in front of him.

His hand was still caught in a few strands of her hair, near her neck, and Brennan could barely resist resting her face in his palm. Instead, she pulled his fingers into hers and then took a step back. Once he took a following step, she turned and led the way back to her bedroom. It was dark, but she knew where she was going. She led him to her bed and motioned for him to lie down. He did, and she would almost swear that the moonlight peeking through her curtains seemed to settle on him, as if all the light in the world was attracted to him.

It was irrational, but at the moment, seeing his perfectly lean and muscled form against her bedspread, she couldn't argue. Instead, she reached for her own shirt's hem and pulled, lifting the material over her head. A small flicker of satisfaction coursed over her chest when she saw his fingers tighten against his sides. She quickly removed her pants as well, leaving them in a dainty heap at the side of her bed. She left her bra and panties on as she placed one knee on her bed, and then the other, before straddling his body. Booth's eyes grew hooded and darker still as she settled her hands against his chest. He didn't look away though, even as she ran her fingers down his stomach to wrap firmly around his erection. His hips lifted her off of the bed, and she used the leverage in her knees to match his rhythm as he rose and fell under her ministrations. Even though she'd never had sex with him before, she could sense that he was close to orgasm, and so she stilled her movements, relishing in the sweet groan that rose from his chest passed his lips.

Taking a moment to catalogue her own reaction, Brennan realized that in her quest to learn Booth's body, she'd grown quite aroused herself. An emptiness settled between her thighs, and her nipples tingled at the thought of his long length embedded up into her. Biting her lip, she sat back against his legs and then removed her panties, tossing them over the side of her bed. Keeping him firmly in her grasp at the base of his erection, she slowly lowered herself, inch by perfect inch down his long and solid warmth.

For one of the first times that evening, he touched her. Booth settled his hands against her hips, anchoring her as she began to move. But it was only a moment before she felt that all too familiar fluttering in her womb. She met his gaze in surprise, and then closed her eyes as she tried to catalogue everything she was feeling, coinciding with the facts. Her partner, _Seeley Booth_, was under her. _Inside_ of her. With her.

The trembling began at the base of her spine and then rushed to her clit before spreading up her chest, tightening her breasts in their silken confines. Her chest and throat warmed, and her belly ignited as her orgasm rushed in and then flowed out in waves of pure feeling unlike anything she'd ever experienced. A whimper escaped her lips and her fingernails sank into the smooth skin of his stomach. She heard him hiss, but other than that, there was no reaction from him, except the smooth throb of his penis inside of her, still hard and long and snugged up against the end of her walls.

How he'd managed not to orgasm, Brennan didn't know, but as her breath began to settle, she opened her eyes and saw that he was right on the edge. She rolled to her side, and he did the same, keeping them joined in an impressive move. Her mind was muddled, but she tried to piece each new part of information that was available to her.

"Go ahead" she encouraged, as they completed their roll, leaving her on her back, below him, the length of him still buried deep. He pulled out of her until just the tip of him was resting at her entrance, and for a moment, she thought he was going to back away and leave her. A slight and irrational panic settled in her mind, but then he slid forward, a harsh struggle for breath leaving his lips as he set up a rhythm.

Brennan had recovered from her own orgasm and could now watch him, examining his actions. His tempo quickened and then his knees hit the mattress between hers as he sank all the way into her and settled there, belly to belly. He didn't pull out and in as much as just rock his hips into hers, massaging her clit and pubic bone with his groin. The sensation was immeasurable and her eyes locked with his as his jaw worked back and forth. His elbows settled on either side of her shoulders, and Brennan was reminded at just how big he was. All over.

She couldn't see anything but him looming over her, dark and good. He was just so…_steady_. In every area of her life. She needed him, and for years it pained her to admit she needed anything. But he was always around. And now he was with her, and she knew…..

Steady in, steady out. Steady.

But then he was panting, and he froze before sinking deeper than she'd thought possible, his whole body a tight coil ready to spring. And then it did, and she felt him come inside of her. The sensation, combined with the way he'd collapsed against her, his face pressed to the side of her neck caused a fluttering in her chest that had nothing to do with academia and everything to do with…heart.

He sighed in her ear, and then she felt it.

The brush of his lips against her skin there. And then again. Just below her ear. Then down her neck. His mouth moved in featherlike strokes against the skin of her throat, over her jawline.

Yes…she wanted to encourage him. _Do this. Please do this._

She needed him to do this, to learn her as she'd learned him. His softening length fell from her as he pulled back ,and she whimpered. Booth began to suckle gently at the spot where her shoulder met her arm, and Brennan let her fingers skate over his back, enjoying his cool skin against her warmth. His own hands settled against her waist, as his lips moved downward. They met over her chest, and he used his fingers to deftly unfasten the front clasp of her bra. The reality was so much more than her imagination, and when he brushed away the fabric, she leaned forward, allowing him to pull her bra off of her body and let it flutter to the floor near her bed. Now it was his turn to break the rules as a sharp "Oh yes" left his lips, so silent she was sure she must have imagined it.

But imagination took over as his lips settled against her breast.

Brennan lifted her hands over her head as Booth began to kiss her. And when his lips settled over her nipple, beginning a soft suction, she threaded her fingers through his hair, keeping him in place. Over and over, he moved from one breast to the other, content to kiss her, never letting her arousal spike too high. When a soft whimper escaped her lips, he took the cue and began kissing her belly, tracing each of her ribs with his fingertips.

As Booth kissed around her belly button, he allowed his hands to sneak back up and cup her breasts, and Brennan soaked in the knowledge that she had been right about the callouses at the base of his palms. They were exquisite against the softness of her skin. She'd never felt so soft, except in comparison to the rough and gentle touch of the proof of his daily work.

He settled between her thighs and nudged them apart with his shoulders. His lips ghosted around her folds, never providing pressure, just teasing and learning her reactions to him. She had no sense of keeping anything from him, and opened her hips to him, for him. He accepted and with the tip of his tongue, he tasted her. They both froze then, in an instant of perfect symbiosis, and then with mutual sighs, she relaxed, and he indulged.

It had been an entire year since a man had been the source of her satisfaction, and even longer since she'd had more than one orgasm in bed, but she was honing in on her second, the culmination of her pleasure riding in on the soft wave of his tongue, the sweet pressure of his lips against her core. Just as she was about to come, he rose above her, sliding deep inside of her once more.

"Booth!" She couldn't help but gasp his name at the perfect way he seemed to know her, the perfect way his long legs tangled with hers.

He paused, and then she noticed he was looking at her mouth. The tip of her tongue brushed against her bottom lip, and then with an almost sad sigh, he kissed her.

Her hands clenched his head to hers as she kissed him back, their lips not dueling, but giving and receiving, just as their lower bodies did the same.

Brennan felt the rough scrape of his chin against hers, and she knew later he'd feel bad about it. She felt the clasp of his hand against her hip as he pulled her up to meet his thrusts, and knew he'd feel bad about the bruise he might leave there. She felt his hands cup the backs of her thighs, even as he hitched her legs around his waist, to just this much past the point of comfort, and knew he'd regret it. But as he swiveled his hips and set them on a course for mutual orgasm, she couldn't think anymore, except about the inexorable thrusting between her legs. She'd never believed in fate or chance or karma or luck or any of that, but as she felt the flowering and shattering of her climax, clenching and releasing around Booth even as his lips broke free from hers as he arched his back, his throat working vigorously as he came with her. "BONES!"

The sound from his lips was so beautiful to her, and combined with the force of her orgasm, she felt tears sting in the backs of her eyes. Thankfully, they stayed put, even as Booth, her partner, slowed his movements, bringing her legs back to settle against the mattress.

She was thankful it was dark though, because when he stilled and met her eyes, the sadness she saw there caused her chest to clench, and the tears threatened even further.

And in that moment, she knew he'd been right.

Knowing was worse.

--b&b--

Stay tuned for part two, which is Booth's point of view of the same night.


	2. Fine

**Oh dear…**

**I am so sorry! Haha. I had no idea that the first part of this story would invoke so much heartbreak. I can promise you that I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER end a story with Booth and Brennan apart. Ever.**

**I've never written a story like this, where I was bound by the dialogue I'd already written. It was kind of a challenge, actually, but I'm glad I did it. As far as the ending, I guess I underestimated the love we all feel for our man, Seeley J. Booth. My interpretation was that he was more in control of what was happening. But we'll see how that plays out, I guess. I'll be interested to hear what you think about Booth's POV. More from me after the chapter…**

**--b&b--**

**7:15 AM**

Booth set his wallet and badge on the edge of his sink, and leaned forward, tilting his head to the side. Eh, he could shave tomorrow, a little stubble wouldn't hurt anyone.

Pulling in a breath through his nose, he tucked in his shirt and fastened his belt before shoving his badge in his waistband, and his wallet in his pocket. His index finger brushed against his poker chip, and he paused, meeting his reflection in the mirror for a split second. But then he turned away. Just another day.

**--b&b—**

**9:00 AM:**

"Booth" Cullen barked, and Booth turned around to see his boss walking his way.

"Yes sir," Booth nodded automatically, holding out his hand for whatever information his superior thought he needed.

"James case. Identity. Now."

Booth watched his boss walk away and he pushed his door open with the back of his foot, balancing his coffee in one hand and his new stack of files in the other. "Yes sir" he muttered to no one in particular.

But when he turned, he saw Sweets waiting for him in a chair across from his desk. "Hey, how'd you get in here?"

Sweets turned and stood. "Easy. I work for the FBI."

"Ha." Booth snorted. "Very funny. You are not an agent."

Sweets shrugged and nodded, sitting back down as Booth made his way to his desk chair. "True, but the door was unlocked, so it was pretty easy. Even a psychologist could do it."

Booth smirked and leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers in front of his chest. "Why are you here, Sweets?"

"I'm here to see how your experiment went."

"Experiment?" Booth leaned forward and frowned, "What experiment?"

Sweets shrugged a casual shoulder. "Inviting Dr. Brennan to dinner with your son."

Booth's lips pursed, and he reached for one of his new files. "Bones has eaten with us before," he deflected.

"Really?" Sweets asked. "At the same table and everything? Just the three of you?"

Booth frowned, and rubbed his face once, "What's your point, Sweets?"

He leaned forward. "That when I recommended you show Parker how you interact with a woman socially, you chose Dr. Brennan."

Booth's lip curled up. "Well, you know, it's a little something called convenience. Bones was around; I asked her."

"I don't think so…" Sweets chuckled, but Booth just shrugged a shoulder and didn't say anything further.

"Well…" Sweets nodded. "At least I solved the last case…" he grinned as he stood and walked toward the office door.

"Ha, I don't think so, Sweets" Booth scoffed and leaned back in his chair again, tossing his baseball up in the air and catching it. "That was all Bones."

Sweets leaned in the doorway and shook his head, a smile on his face. "She wasn't saying anything I wasn't saying. You just like her better than me."

"Yeah, maybe because she doesn't pry into my personal life" Booth retorted, and Sweets stared at him for another moment, a knowing smile on his face.

Booth grew annoyed at the look, and one of his eyebrow's cocked up, "Goodbye, Sweets."

Sweets nodded as if he'd come to some conclusion and then nodded again, "See you Agent Booth."

Booth swallowed, and set his baseball down on his desk, rolling it under his hand for a moment, enjoying the way the seams fit right against the cup of his palm. Sweets does not know what he's talking about…it's just Bones. They were just partners.

And speaking of Bones, it was time for him to go see if she had an ID for him. In the back of his mind, he remembered her telling him she'd call him if she was able to pull one, but Booth decided to go see if he could get lucky.

An image of Sweets reacting to that statement caused Booth to pause.

"Great…so now I've got two geniuses in my head," he muttered as he grabbed his keys. "Awesome."

**--b&b—**

"Ah…" Booth opened his hands wide and grinned from the lab platform, "There she is…"

She was not smiling as she scanned her ID card through the card reader. "What do you want, Booth?"

What? Booth tilted his head to the side and watched as she didn't quite meet his eyes. Leaning against the lab table, he smiled. "Hmmmm…excuse me, Dr. Negative. I was kind of hoping you might have an ID for me…yeah?"

In an attempt to make her smile, or hell, at least look at him for crying out loud, he waved his file folder under her nose. But she just swatted him away and put on that dumb labcoat followed by a pair of those white gloves.

"Not yet, Booth. I don't you I'd call you when we had a positive ID."

Jeez… "Well, sorry, Bones, I just thought maybe I'd get lucky." He leaned over her shoulder to look at the dead body instead of focusing on his last sentence. At least Sweets wasn't around.

"Back off, Booth…"

Booth stepped back as she ducked out from under his arm and walked to the other side of her lab table.

"Let me do my work, and I'll call you when I am finished, like I said."

Okay, now something wasn't right, and he'd be damned if he didn't ask her about it. "What gives, Bones?"

"Hmmm?" she asked, pretending not to know why he might be confused.

Oh, yeah right. Well fine…he'd spell it out for her. **"**What's the matter?" Booth put his hands on his hips, "Is something _wrong_?"

He thought he imagined her eyes flickering over him for just an instant, but when he blinked, she was still staring at her lab table. "Nothing's wrong" she insisted. "I'm fine."

Booth was not buying that for a second, and he wasn't about to let it go. "Nah, Bones…come on, what's going on?"

"Nothing, Booth" Brennan insisted, her voice rising slightly in pitch, telling him he knew she was lying about something. "I told you…I'm fine."

"Please" Booth scoffed, "People who _say_ they are fine are never really _fine_. That's just something people say when something's _wrong_."

He leaned against the edge of the table, but she didn't look up, "Is that true?" she asked.

Booth chuckled, "Well, yeah, Bones. It's just one of those things. So why don't you tell me what's wrong."

But she didn't answer and instead finally met his eyes, "So when someone says they do fine, is that a lie, too?"

What? What the hell was she talking about? "I suppose so, like…what do you mean, money or something?"

"Something like that" his partner murmured and went back to work.

Booth eyed her for another moment and then shrugged, "Call me when you have an ID, Bones" he called as he walked down the platform steps. She was in a weird mood, and he was just going to let her ride it out.

**--b&b—**

**9:30 PM**

Booth tapped his steering wheel and looked over to his partner. He'd never admit it, but he'd been starting to notice that even when she wasn't with him, he would look over to the empty passenger seat.

But this time she was with him, and something was still wrong. Sure, they'd solved the James case today, pretty straightforward…not too messy.

Then again, murder was always messy. Sparing another glance over toward her, he noticed the way her eyes seemed focused on his hands, but it must have been a trick of the light, because when he looked at her more fully, she was staring out the passenger window, her own hands firmly clasped on her lap. Her entire being was giving off one signal, "Keep out."

Well, okay…he could handle that. Not that he was going to let her out of his sight until she actually told him what was wrong, but yeah…for now, he'd just play it cool.

"Dinner, Bones?" he cleared his throat and realized those were the first words they'd spoken the entire ride.

He kept his gaze ahead of him, focusing on his driving, but he could sense that she was looking at him now. Not able to resist, he looked at her again, smiling a bit that she was making a connection. "Thai?"

"Sure" was all she answered, as she once again clasped her hands in her lap and turned to look out the window.

Booth shifted in his seat and clenched the steering wheel for a fraction of a second as he stopped at a red light, looking at her quickly again when it turned green.

She waited in the SUV while he went inside and paid, carrying out the food and setting it into the backseat before he returned to the driver seat and drove the rest of the way to her apartment.

He knew something was seriously on her mind when she let him carry both the food and her work bag up the steps to her door. His eyes remained on her, but she seemed oblivious, and by the time they were in her apartment, comfortable on her couch, passing around the food, he knew he wasn't going to leave until he knew for damn sure what she was upset about.

--**b&b--**

Booth ran his hands down his legs as he watched her brow furrow with some confusion. He'd talked to her about the case, hoping to draw out whatever was bothering her, but she just answered his question succinctly, like always. Except for that frown…

He was shocked when she inhaled almost painfully and stood up, carrying a half full plate of food to her kitchen.

Well, enough was enough, Booth decided and followed her and then froze.

The moments always hit him at the worst times. He managed, most days, to quell his domestic desires, but seeing her, standing at her sink, her right foot hitched back to scratch the back of her leg, it was just so…home. He felt it like a sock to the gut, and he had to clasp his hand to the bookshelf against the wall. Shaking his head, knowing he needed to concentrate on helping her, not dreaming about her, he stepped forward.

"Bones?"

Her shoulders twitched, and he stepped even closer, pressing his hand against the small of her back, noticing once again how they seemed to fit so perfectly against each other.

"Bones…listen. I know something's up. You can tell me. You can tell me anything."

Brennan turned her face and met his eyes, and he nodded encouragingly, the side of his hand rubbing infinitesimally against the top line of her pants.

"What is it, Bones?"

She turned toward him, causing his hand to fall away from her back. He cursed the sense of loss she felt, and then knew she was going to had to know; otherwise she was liable to lose even more sleep worrying about her.

"I…" she opened her mouth to answer him. His chest tightened and for a moment, he was stunned, wondering why this moment felt like he was standing at the edge of a plane door, only a parachute and a St. Christopher's medal to help him.

"I need to know."

Booth paused, and his head tilted to the side just a fraction. "You need to know what?"

"I need to _know_…" she repeated, moving to stand very close to him.

Her eyes were locked with his, and everything in his body was alerting him to the fact that he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Oh."

It had been quiet before, in the SUV, and in her living room, but that was nothing compared to the way the silence between them now fairly hummed with undercurrents of electricity.

Instinct took over, and he stepped back. Make a joke; don't let her see that you misinterpreted. "Good one, Bones."

She swallowed and clenched her jaw, turning back to the sink, she wrenched on the water, scrubbing her plate for much longer than it needed, making him realize that he knew what he'd known from the moment she opened her mouth. She was serious.

But he couldn't walk away. The part of him he needed to survive this, the calloused section of his heart he'd honed for years now, just to be able to see her every day without going home in pain every night, that part of him was nowhere to be found, and he shoved his hands into his pockets, desperate to look casual, to keep the pressure off of her, even as his fingers twisted his poker chip over and over, the rough grooves digging into his fingertips.

"I need to know. Just once." She turned and faced him. "The not knowing is making me lose sleep. I find it hard to concentrate on our professional tasks. And beyond that…"

When she trailed off, Booth's stance widened just an inch, and his hips rocked forward without his control. He hoped she wouldn't notice it.

"Beyond that…" she continued, meeting his gaze. Her blue eyes put his heart in a vice. "Personally…I want to know."

Personally? What did that mean?

Hell, he knew what it meant, and instinctively, his hands left his pockets as his arms crossed over his chest."It doesn't work that way, Bones."

Her eyes flashed, and her fists clenched in anger. Anger. Her first real emotion of the whole day with him.

"Well…why not?" She stepped past him and grabbed a towel from her fridge door, wiping her wet hands before tossing the towel to her counter. "Why can't it work that way?"

"Because…" Booth grabbed onto her elbow when she went to walk past him again. She froze and met his eyes, and he saw in her eyes a reaction to the gruff tone of his voice. Willing himself to settle, he swallowed. "Because once we know, then…we _know_."

She wrenched her arm free and poked his chest. He'd never seen her this way, almost out of control, emotionally. There was a split second where he thought she might close up, and not tell him, but then, she opened her mouth. "_Not_ knowing is worse. How can anything be worse than not knowing? I've spent my entire adult life trying to learn things, and the one thing I can't learn is standing right here in my kitchen, telling me I can't. I can't? I have to…" she poked him again, and then stepped back.

His entire chest burned outward from the spot she'd touched him. This was pure emotion arcing between them. Booth's mind raced as he tried to figure out what to tell her, as he tried to figure out what she'd even said. He was the one thing she couldn't _learn_? Did that mean what he thought it meant? Not knowing…it was making her lose sleep too? Oh, Bones…

"But fine." Her angry words penetrated his hazy thoughts, "FINE! You want to 'do fine', then go right ahead, Booth. See if I care. I'm tired of waiting. A whole year I've waited, and _learned_ all the right things to say and do. But you never noticed. You're too busy _doing fine_. Well that's _fine_ by me. But Booth, not knowing…it's worse. It's worse than fine."

Fine.

Thai food.

Sweets' office.

_Fine._

Oh.

"I _need_ to _know_, Booth."

She didn't know what she was doing to him. He couldn't take this. She thought he was fine? The three words he'd tossed out just to annoy her…those were the words she'd carried with her from that entire conversation?

He turned and walked out of the kitchen, toward the front door. _Don't leave her like this._

The impulse was strong, after years of knowing her, and he couldn't get his feet to move any further. Damn it. Why did he have to be the one who helped her, even at his own expense? And…fine? She really thought he was fine?

He'd made it as far as her couch, but he couldn't look at her, not just yet. And so with his back to her, his hand clenching the back of the sofa cushions, he pleaded with her, desperate to make her understand what she was doing to him. "You need to think, here, Bones" he rasped. "Because I don't think you've thought this through. Knowing is worse. Because once you know, you can't unknow it. No matter how hard you try. And look…" his throat closed up, and he pushed back dreams and longings and…"We only get one first time, and when that happens, it needs to be special, not because…"

"What did you say?" she asked, and he turned to see her entering the living room.

"Good, you understand." He tried to deflect, "Look Bones, I'm not saying this is easy, but--" They could get through this. That was what friends did, what partners did. They would talk about it, and he would go home, and then everything would be fine.

"Did you say, when?"

What?

Wait…

Aw, hell."Bones…"

His partner, his gorgeous, confused partner moved to stand in front of him. "You said when. _When_. You're waiting for something, for some moment. But…why? Why are we waiting, when we could know?"

She was sort of right, but what floored him was her genuine surprise at the thought that he'd thought about this and was waiting for some reason. A thousand potential moments rushed through his head, fixing the pipes under his sink, relaxing against the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, watching her turn around at the edge of a pier…all moments.

Her eyes were pained. And he knew the truth. This wasn't about sex or love or lust or physics or urges or anything like that. This was about knowing. Her mind. She needed to know. Since the day he'd met her, every day had been a long lesson in learning he could never deny her anything, and now…

"Okay…"

He watched her blink at his whisper and wondered if she'd even heard him.

"Once," he added, swallowing hard.

She nodded. "Once. So we'll know."

They stared at one another for long moments, sizing each other up. In Booth's mind, he wondered how it had gone from her needing to know to 'we'll know', but when her eyes drifted down to his chest, and her fingers settled against his stomach, it took all of his concentration not to groan out loud. He had some pride after all. She wasn't using him necessarily, but he'd be damned if he was going to let her see everything he felt for her, not when she was being methodical.

A surge of tenderness swept over him when the tip of her tongue pressed against her bottom lip in concentration as she was thinking about where to start. Her face softened as she started with the bottom button and worked her way up to where the shirt was already open against his strong neck. For a moment, she just stared at his chest, and he felt curious to know what she was thinking.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her as her hands whispered against his skin the fabric near his neck, and she moved closer, stepping forward to slide his shirt over his shoulders. His breath was suspended when she closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath at the scent of his bare skin.

When she looked up, she met his eyes. His nostrils flared in arousal at the surprise there, and her lips parted. Her hands clutched his shirt against his strong shoulders, and she leaned in further, stepping up to her tiptoes to press her mouth against his. But at the last moment, he turned away, pulling back his gaze and face from hers. It was too much. He didn't know if it was pride, denial, self preservation, or what, but he just couldn't let her kiss him on the mouth, not like this. Not…not like this.

She stood in shock for a second before moving back. "You're compartmentalizing."

There was no accusation in her tone, merely observation. Booth felt his cheek twitch in half of a sad smile, his heart breaking at his inability to give her this. Definitely self preservation. "You understand, right?"

His eyes searched hers, desperate to know that she understood. He needed her to understand. When she nodded, he felt a release. She knew he was doing this for her. He was letting her do this.

So she could know.

The mood changed, and she lowered her eyes, moving to stand behind him. He used the moment to pull on his training to keep it together.

His arms went slack as she pulled his shirt all the way off of his folded it carefully against the back of her couch, and then gently let her hands rest against his spine. He stiffened a bit, and she pulled back. But his body wasn't going to let her stop, and it relaxed back into her palms.

Standing in front of her afforded him the chance to examine her touch. Professionally, he knew that her hands were steady and sure. Nothing had changed there as he felt her examine his skin and muscle. Her fingertips traced each of his ribs and skated over his skin. He felt her pause once as she brushed against a couple of scars she found, and that aroused him more than anything she'd done so far. But what really stirred him was that he was wondering what she was thinking. He was so used to studying her, across a diner table, from the driver's seat, over some remains. He wasn't used to her studying him without being able to see her face. So he imagined. He imagined that her eyes were wide and that her brain was just whirling away, cataloging the facts of his body. He could imagine her long pale fingers against his skin. She was so pale, even though she actually spent a considerable time outdoors, examining skeletons or crime scenes. When he felt her thumbs massage down the length of his spine, his whole body clenched in reaction. Okay, maybe he couldn't survive this. And then…

"You really do have amazing musculature, Booth. In fact, I'd say it's the most impressive I've ever seen on a male form before. You should--"

"—No talking…" his voice was rougher than he'd intended, but he just could _not_ handle her words right now. It was the freaking science. Normally he could handle it, when she spouted off words like 'anthropological' or whatever else her brain came up with, but not now. Not like this. He couldn't take the science of it, combined with her soft touch and her low husky tone. "Please." He didn't care if he was begging. He just needed her to stop talking.

He didn't know if she agreed or not, but at least she kept quiet, even as she ran her hands more firmly against his back and then slid them around to trace his chest and wasn't sure where to smile or groan when she walked around to face him, letting her fingers settle in the grooves between his abdominal muscles. A smile ghosted her lips and her hands slid up to cup against his nipples for a second, and he did groan then as her touch sent streaks of electricity up and down his spine. He could feel himself getting hard for her. Nothing that wasn't expected, but it still took him a moment to let it happen. She'd always had a way about her that make him feel lucky as hell, just to be around her, and his mind was slightly boggled with the idea that she'd been wanting him too.

But then his thoughts were scrambled as she cupped his shoulders, leaning in to press her lips against the side of his neck. Every inch of his body felt extra sensitive to her touch as she began to gently kiss the base of his throat, running the tip of her tongue against his jawline. Oh, this felt good.

When she nuzzled the tip of her nose just underneath his right ear, his hips shot forward, and they both paused. She pulled back and met his eyes, noticing the flush against his cheeks. He felt warm all over, slightly vulnerable at the awareness in her eyes. But what surprised him more was the hesitation he read in her gaze. Realizing that she was beginning to understand what he'd been talking about, his fingers tightened and released at his sides. He knew that if he pulled back now, she would let him. She would forego knowing, for his sake. If he just pulled back.

But he didn't pull back. Instead, his eyes fluttered shut and then reopened.

Booth felt her hands let go of his shoulders and then they settled at the buckle of his pants. He'd dreamed of this moment many times, and was surprised at how quickly and easily his buckle released.

Her perfect fingers were lowering the zipper of his pants, and it was all he could to do concentrate on _breathing_. In and out. Air to the lungs, that was his goal.

Even that was a challenge as she bent to her knees, working his pants down his legs. He leaned back for balance, purchase, anything that would keep him upright as she lifted one of his feet and then the other to take his jeans off his body. His eyes closed and he swallowed, counting backward from 100 to stay in control. He didn't want to embarrass himself, but he knew that as soon as she touched him, he was liable to lose it.

He got all the way to 77 before he realized that she wasn't touching him. He opened his eyes, wondering if she was gone, but when he looked down, she was still there, her eyes on his feet. It made him feel uncomfortable, her prone position. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. If anyone was kneeling at anyone's feet, it should be him on the ground, letting her know how…amazing she was.

He'd never experienced intimacy like the feeling of her fingers tracing the stripes of his socks. His physical desire took a backseat to the pure…love he felt for her in this moment. This was Bones.

_Bones._

His left foot was ticklish, and it twitched when she ran her fingernail against his toes.

Booth watched as she paused, and then her hands moved up to his calf muscle. She tucked her thumbs below his sock line, and then tugged down, first one sock, and then the other. His heart felt incredibly full as he watched her stare at his socks before she folded them together, setting them near her side. She respected him, he realized, and it cut him to the core. He wanted her to look up and meet his eyes, but at the same time, didn't want to frighten her with all the emotion he was feeling in that moment. A deep sigh escaped from his chest at the idea that she'd been waiting for him for an entire year.

As she ran her hands up the backs of his legs, his knees buckled a bit, and his lips quivered. By the time her fingertips reached the edge of his boxer shorts, he was biting his lip and shifting his weight. There was nowhere to hide, though, and he couldn't tear his eyes away as she hooked her fingers into the elastic waistband and gently tugged, inch by inch. Once his boxers were removed, she set them near his socks and returned to her previous position.

Okay…he could handle this. He was imagining all of her pauses, all of her soft touches. He was misinterpreting them as affection, when what he knew she really wanted was just scientific inquiry. Yes. That was it. And that was what was going to get him through this. Later, he could think about it, and figure out what the hell it all meant, but for now, he would just be cool—

"Oh…"

Her breathy moan…

It killed him.

His masculine nature felt stirred by the sound of her voice; he couldn't help but be gratified by her reaction. But this wasn't just any female smoothing her fingers over him, it was his partner. When she lightened her touch and fondled him, his hips shifted. "Don't tease me."

She met his eyes then, for the first time in awhile and he saw that she recognized his barely leashed restraint. But instead of becoming more clinical, her eyes seemed to brighten in anticipation.

"Don't tease me" he repeated. "No teasing, and no talking. Please." Booth knew he was vulnerable, but at this point, he was just trying to save what he could.

He watched as she swallowed and bit her bottom lip as she looked back to the proof of his desire for her. She leaned in and rested her lips against his swollen head. A soft whimper escaped her lips at his taste, and it inflamed him. She used big, ridiculous words all the time, throwing them in his direction, but her soft sounds were going to be the death of him.

Almost as if she couldn't resist, she opened her mouth around him, pulling him inside of her. Where she'd meant to go slow and learn, now she was caught up in the firestorm of want. She took him inside her mouth, as deep as he could go and then pulled him out slowly. He had no choice but to react, wide eyed, his hips shifting in his natural rhythm, his reactions deeper than his control. She repeated the motion over and over, and his felt an orgasm settle at the base of his penis, and he knew he had to stop her.

"Enough" he growled, and she complied, pulling off of him entirely and standing up in front of him.

For a moment, he felt mortified. He was standing, completely naked and aroused in the middle of her living room, while she was fully clothed. She looked no different than normal, except for a slightly deeper flush on her cheeks, and the way her hair was mussed from his hand. He wanted to cup the side of her face in his palm, but then she placed her fingers in his and took a step back. It was another moment where he could put a halt to things, but instead, he took a step forward. She turned and led the way back to her bedroom. It was dark, but she knew where she was going. She led him to her bed and motioned for him to lie down. He did, and watched her as she stood at the side of her bed and studied him.

For some reason, that infuriated him. He pressed his hands to her mattress, ready to lift up and demand that she stop. But then he was left frozen when she reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it off. His hands itched and clenched at the side of her upper body, the pale yellow bra so light against her skin. His mind whirled as she removed her pants, revealing a matching yellow pair of underwear, trimmed in lace.

Beautiful.

His eyelids grew heavy as she settled against him, straddling his hips and placing her hands against his chest. He couldn't look away though, even as she ran her fingers down his stomach to wrap firmly around his erection. His hips lifted her off of the bed, and she used the leverage in her knees to match his rhythm as he rose and fell under her ministrations. Even though they'd never done this before, he was amazed that she could sense that he was close to orgasm, and when she stilled her movements, he groaned, both in frustration and the unbelievable knowledge that she knew him so well already.

When she paused, he looked at her face, wondering what she was thinking. But when she leaned back and removed her underwear, it was all he could do not to pull her against him, turn her over and kiss her all over. She wrapped her fingers around the base of him and then her sweet desire kissed him so intimately that his breath caught. She wanted him. Whatever clinical process her mind was working through, her body was in tune to him. Slowly, she lowered herself inch by inch until he was fully embedded in her. She. Was. So. Tight.

A year. A year?

_A whole year I've waited, and learned all the right things to say and do._

Her words from earlier rang through his mind, and he couldn't help it. he had to feel her, just a little. Letting his hands touch her hips, he held her steady as she began to move, even as moments from the past year came back to him. Her knocking at his door, telling him she wanted to believe in love, her face outside a hospital room, not sure if he was going to be okay…

He was shocked from her thoughts as he felt her flutter around him. His eyes lifted and he could see that she was as surprised as he was. She was going to come, and fast. Bones. His partner, was going to…

Booth watched as her chest flushed, her breasts threatening to spill from their silk confines. Her nipples poked at the fabric straight toward the headboard. Her eyes were pained almost, and he couldn't look away, even as she whimpered and let her fingernails sink into his stomach. He hissed then, and it brought him back to the realization that he was still hard, still waiting for his own moment.

She was leaning down, and on instinct, when she moved to her side, he did the same, needing to keep them connected, even as his mind was still trying to process what had just happened. Soon he was over her, still buried deep inside of her.

"Go ahead" she encouraged, but he wasn't sure he could. He could stop now, and still save a bit of his innocence. She knew, and that would be enough, right.

He pulled out of her until just the tip of him was resting at her entrance.

Her eyes widened in panic, and her brow furrowed, and once again he was helpless against giving her everything she ever wanted. And as he slid forward, he couldn't quench the rough struggle for breath, knowing his destiny, knowing he couldn't fight it anymore. It was a part of him, as natural as the rhythm his body began. Her eyes smiled at him, and softened, and Booth felt an enormous amount of pleasure. He needed more. His tempo quickened and then his knees hit the mattress between hers as he sank all the way into her and settled there, his hard stomach muscles against the sweet give of her belly. He didn't pull out and in as much as just rock his hips into hers, feeling so _welcomed_.

It was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. His jaw worked, even as his elbows settled on either side of her shoulders, effectively pinning her under him. She seemed almost small, but really the only word to describe it was perfect.

She was perfect for him. He knew it. She was the only one for him. Ever.

Admitting it to himself was the push he needed, and his whole body a tight coil ready to spring. And then it did, and Booth came inside of her. The sensation, combined with the way she'd accepted him, was more than he could take, and he pressed his face to the side of her neck, breathing her in.

He sighed in her ear, and then he couldn't resist.

He kissed her. And then again. Just below her ear. Then down her neck. His mouth moved in featherlike strokes against the skin of her throat, over her jawline.

Did she want this? She didn't use words, but just leaned into him

_Yes_…her body encouraged him. _Do this._

He needed this. He had to learn her just as much. His softening length fell from her as he pulled back ,and she whimpered. Booth began to suckle gently at the spot where her shoulder met her arm, and felt her fingers skate over his back in response.

His own hands settled against her waist, as his lips moved downward. They met over her chest, and he used his fingers to deftly unfasten the front clasp of her bra. The reality was so much more than his imagination, and when he brushed away the fabric, she leaned forward, allowing him to pull her bra off of her body and let it flutter to the floor near her bed. Now it was his turn to break the rules as a sharp "_Oh yes_" left his lips, so silent he thought it might only be from his lips to God's ears.

But imagination took over as his lips settled against her breast.

Brennan lifted her hands over her head as Booth began to kiss her. And when his lips settled over her nipple, beginning a soft suction, she threaded her fingers through his hair, keeping him in place. Over and over, he moved from one breast to the other, content to kiss her, never letting her arousal spike too high. He was amazed at the way her nipples never really hardened or pearled. Instead, they just grew long and puffy. A smile graced his lips at the knowledge, and when a soft whimper escaped her lips, he took the cue and began kissing her belly, tracing each of her ribs with his fingertips.

As Booth kissed around her belly button, he allowed his hands to sneak back up and cup her breasts. His hands, sometimes they felt empty, like something was missing. He'd filled them with the weight of a gun, with the smoothly deceiving slide of cards, but nothing…nothing filled his hands as perfectly as his partners breasts. Perfect.

He settled between her thighs and nudged them apart with his shoulders. His lips ghosted around her folds, never providing pressure, just teasing and learning her reactions to him. A surge of testosterone flooded his belly as she opened her legs for him. He accepted and with the tip of his tongue, he tasted her. They both froze then, in an instant of perfect symbiosis, and then with mutual sighs, she relaxed, and he indulged.

Maybe later he'd regret this, the knowing, and learning, but he couldn't live with himself if he didn't taste her. His lips and tongue were flooded with her flavor, more alluring than he could have ever imagined. But what surprised him most was her complete surrender to him and his touch.

He knew she was about to come again, and he wanted that. He wanted to taste it, but he was also selfish, and he wanted to be inside her. Just as she was about to come, he rose above her, sliding deep inside of her once more.

"Booth!"

The sound of his name on her lips made him pause. He stared at her mouth, and he had to kiss her there. He was breaking his own rules again, but it was impossible. With a sigh, he leaned in and kissed her, rewarded with the feel of her hands on the back of his head, pulling him even tighter to her.

He'd imagined that it would take them some practice to be good at kissing each other, both wanting control, but there was nothing but giving between them.

She was close, and so was he, and he ran his hands down to her hips, to her thighs to hitch them around his waist. He was almost out of control as he thrust into her.

Fate, chance, luck, karma, God…he didn't know, but oh, baby, when he felt the clench of her body around his, he couldn't help but pull his lips back and cry out. "BONES!"

Her hands fluttered against his back, and he felt his chest expand, both with breath and pure emotion at what they'd just done. A sadness for her, for them, overtook him, and he met her eyes, bringing her legs back to rest against the mattress.

It was dark, but he could still see her, and when he met her eyes, he knew she'd been right.

He'd never be satisfied with fine again.

**--b&b--**

**Well, personally, I'm happy with where they are. I like the idea that Brennan knows now, and Booth does too. I can see them working it out. And honestly, this is where i imagined the story ending. I promise I will think about adding another chapter, where they talk about it. But I don't know that I can solve all of their problems in one more chapter.**

**What do you think? Honestly...does it need one more? And if so, would you mind my moving from the 3rd person limited POV to 3rd person omniscient? **


	3. Brain and Heart

**Okay, so, like I said before, I have no problem with the previous two chapters being the official chapters of this story. If you liked those, and don't mind a little angst with your B+B, with what I considered kind of an optimistic ending, then you are welcome to not read this chapter, you won't hurt my feelings.**

**This chapter begins the exact minute the other two ended, so it's not a 'one month later' type epilogue, or anything like that. It doesn't solve all of their problems, but they do talk and work a few things out, and the end is mostly happy, I would say.**

**Hopefully you enjoy it and feel as if it fits the tone and mood of the other chapters. Let me know!**

**Thanks again to all of the people who have reviewed. I can honestly say that they have been the MOST heartfelt reviews I have ever, ever received. Each and every one of them. I am so pleased that you have identified with this story. I enjoyed writing it. **

**--b&b--**

Booth and Brennan stared at one another as their breath settled. It was a new experience for both of them, and they were processing that.

On Brennan's part, she enjoyed the way Booth's stomach muscles were still working, fluttering against her belly as he began to inhale and exhale naturally. It was quite erotic sexually, and while she had had two very recent orgasms, she could see how it might be very appealing to feel that ripple while striving toward a climax. What surprised Brennan more was that her fingertips were still slipping over Booth's back, hesitant to stop touching him, even though the desired effect, mutual satisfaction, had been achieved.

Booth stared down at his partner and felt a surge of regret at the pinkened skin under her lower lip, along her jawline. He should have shaved that morning. Not that he'd expected to end up in bed like this, of course, but…he'd gotten kind of rough with her at the end there, and although she wasn't complaining, if it really had been a year since she'd done that, she might be a little sore. But he couldn't quite make himself move off of her, not just yet. Because…

Well, because it was amazing. He'd always guessed she'd be hot, but he'd had _no idea_ she'd be so…_warm_. The sweet welcome of her thighs, the soft light in her gaze, the featherfine brush of her fingertips against his back, all of it combined to make him feel very cozy and sleepy and _warm_. He didn't want to speak, but he figured if he didn't, and she did first, he wouldn't have any control over the conversation at all.

"Hey…" he moistened his bottom lip with his tongue as he whispered in the dark room and ran the tip of his index finger just under her chin. "You okay?"

She blinked once, and then nodded. "Yes, I'm fine."

Booth inhaled sharply, and his head tilted to the side to see if she was mocking him. But he only saw genuine emotion in her gaze, and for some reason, it made him smile. "Just fine, hmmm...?"

This was all so new and tentative, and Brennan wasn't quite sure how to react to his teasing. She thought back to her word choice, and then caught Booth's meaning. "Ah, I see." And still her fingers touched his back, skating to his sides before one hand slid up his back to rub against the back of his neck. He groaned then, and his brow furrowed, as if he was embarrassed by that reaction. Interested, Brennan looked at his face for a moment before she realized she hadn't really answered his question. "Booth, I would have to catalogue my reactions as more than fine, especially in light of our previous discussion."

She nodded, and her own brow furrowed. "Although, I find I am unable to stop touching you. I am not sure what is causing this, but I suppose I have to admit that you were right, and knowing is worse."

Booth tried to move, he really did, but he just wasn't ready for this to be over. He wondered what would happen if he leaned down to kiss her, just once more. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, she spoke.

"Because I have realized there is still a lot to learn, so it puts me in quite a scientific quandary…"

He froze and couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. They were so close he could only see her eyes; he couldn't read anything else from her except her eyes and the breathy quality of her voice. He wasn't sure what to say to her to ease her mind. Booth knew he should admit that he hadn't been sexually active either lately, that she hadn't been alone in wanting to know, and that he loved her touch. He opened his mouth to tell her those things, to get her to stop talking about quandaries, to just…"I adore you."

At his words, the air was sucked from between them. Her eyes widened, and her lips parted in surprise. She stopped speaking, stopped moving her hands along his skin, and he pulled back enough to see her throat work. Booth realized he'd played all of his cards; he had nothing left. The biggest gamble of his life, tossed out there…no thought whatsoever.

Adore? Brennan's mind whirled with the new information. She'd never considered the word much before at all. It was different from love, wasn't it? This was all very sudden, and she realized it was too dark in the room. Too dark to think.

"Would you please move off of me?" she requested, and Booth's chest clenched.

"Sure…" he rolled to his side and covered his eyes with his arm. He was such an idiot. He searched his mind for where his clothes were, hoping to be able to reach out and at least put on his boxers and then remembered that all of his clothes were lying in an embarrassing pile in the middle of her living room floor. His nostrils flared in mortification and self fury and he moved his hips to slide his feet over the side of the bed. At least it was dark; at least he had that.

The room was flooded with dim light, and he blinked and turned toward her. She was sitting up against her pillows, her arm outstretched toward her bedside lamp.

"I just wanted to turn the light on to see you, Booth."

Brennan watched the light track across the muscles of his back as he sat on the edge of her bed, away from her. Her fingers itched to touch him again, and she wondered at her nearly insatiable need to feel him under her hands. But instead of touching him, she merely rose from her bed, and walked over to her bookshelf.

Booth couldn't take his eyes off of the way her pale skin shone in the soft light of the room. The muted duskiness made him feel as if he were in a dream. Hell, maybe he was in a dream. He'd had enough of those over the years. But no dream he'd ever had included her standing completely naked near a stack of books, sliding her slim and soft fingers against spine after spine, the same way she'd allowed her touch to glide over his back.

When she found what she was looking for, a smile curved up the side of her mouth, and he was helpless to resist staring at her as she carried the dark and worn book back to bed with her.

She was going to read? What was this?

Booth's mind felt muddled as she lay on her stomach, propping the book on her pillow, turning the pages to what she was looking for. There was still a faint blush on her cheeks, but she hadn't even _looked _at him since she'd gotten up from the bed. So…what the hell? He knew she wasn't interested in declarations of love, but she wasn't even going to say anything about it? At all, except to ask him to get off of her and then read a book?

"What the hell is this, Bones?"

Brennan heard the gruffness in his tone, and felt her cheeks warm further. She wasn't sure how to explain what was happening, so she just continued to the turn the pages until she found what she was looking for. "Adore: to regard with the utmost esteem, love and respect; honor. To pay divine honor to. To like or admire very much." With that, she turned her face and looked at him, a question in her eyes.

"Oh…" Booth's eyes narrowed for a moment and then grew hooded. He was still sitting on the edge of the side of her bed, looking at her from over his shoulder. She could see his back expand as he pulled in breath, and she wondered if she'd gotten it wrong. Maybe he hadn't meant it. She was used to sex talk, after all, and she'd always deflected it.

"So…you needed a book to tell you that?"

His voice was low and hoarse, and Brennan felt foolish. "Booth…I just wanted to know the truth is all," she whispered.

He let out a humorless chuckle, but at least turned to face her, his right knee and hand resting on her bedspread between them. She'd never seen this look on his face before, but he seemed angry and…inadequate?

"But mine wasn't enough?" he asked. "Why did you have to bring books and science into it? Couldn't you have left all of that out of this. This?" he motioned between them, "Just once?"

Brennan felt her throat tighten, and she blinked, looking down to her hands in confusion. "But I love books and science."

Booth's heart stopped at her words. She didn't look at him again, and instead, just idly toyed at the edges of her dictionary with her fingertips. Something about her appeared so young, so innocent, and he closed his eyes. "You love books and science."

"Yes…" Brennan whispered.

"And you used books and science on me?" he asked, opening his eyes to see she was looking at his face.

Brennan couldn't look away. She'd never been good at his metaphors, and maybe she had this one all wrong, but she hoped he understood her meaning. His eyes gave away nothing, but he did turn his entire body back to the bed to face her, stretching out on his side in a long line of sleek muscle. Again, she felt the draw of his skin against her hands.

Booth watched her eyes trail down his body and a flush of warmth settled in his heart. "Have you ever used books and science on another man, like this?"

Her eyes met his and she shook her head. "No. They've always thought it was kind of…weird, but I just thought…"

_Seeley Booth, you are one first class idiot_. He blinked once, then again, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Reaching out with one hand, he closed her dictionary and tossed it to the side of the bed.

"Hey," she complained, "That's my favorite one."

"Your favorite dictionary?" his eyebrow rose as he used both of his hands to tug her over to him. She frowned but followed, and her hands landed on his chest.

"Yes" she said distractedly, even as her fingers skimmed over his skin. Her eyes followed her movements, and Booth just watched for awhile. Yep, first class idiot.

He leaned down and caught her lips in his, and she gasped. When he pulled away, her fingers curled into fists, and she held them a centimeter from his body, unsure if she should continue touching him.

"So let me get this straight, Bones. I'm going to just spell it all out, just so I'm clear. Correct me if I'm wrong, okay?"

"Of course, Booth" she answered seriously, and he almost laughed. Yep, she definitely would correct him if he was wrong.

"Alright. Let me see. You love books and science, and you used them on me, _including_ your all time favorite dictionary, _and_ you can't seem to keep your hands off of my sexy body. AND you've never done that or felt that way with any other man."

She huffed and frowned, and he watched as she tried to rebut him. He chuckled, and she met his eyes, annoyed. "Yes, well _you_ adore me. You regard me with the utmost esteem," she challenged. "And--"

He chuckled again and kissed her, effectively stopping her words. "Yeah, I'd say that's about right."

She settled against him, letting her hands uncurl and press flat against his chest, roaming over his shoulders and back before settling a light rhythmic touch against his spine and lower back. "Now what?"

Booth cleared his throat, knowing she was right. "Well, the way I see it, there is still a lot to know about me, right?"

Brennan nodded. "Yes. I do have more thoughts, I must admit. In fact, that is the nature of scientific inquiry. One result usually produces more questions. I should have realized it before, but now that I did get the result I achieved, it has occurred to me that there are more questions, more to explore. It's basic hypothesis and experimental process, Booth."

"Mmhmm…" he nodded. "Yeah."

Her head tilted to the side, and her hair fell over her shoulder in a soft wave that brushed against his shoulder. "And you don't mind that?"

"Mind?" he scoffed and let his hands settle against her back, pulling her until she was laying completely on top of him. Her hands settled against his chest, and he lifted one hand to brush her hair behind her ear. "I'm just glad you have the best man to help you with your experiment."

One of her eyebrows lifted. "Best is a superlative that is highly unable to be proven."

"Is that so?" Booth murmured and leaned up to brush his lips against the side of her neck he'd exposed. "Then I'm just glad the smartest woman is performing the experiment."

She grew silent and then nodded. "Yes, I suppose that is provable."

Booth laughed and then wrapped his arms around her, rolling them over until she was underneath of him, her eyes bright. "Were you making fun of me, Bones?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe. I thought I would give it a try."

He smiled and kissed her, "Not bad. You still have a lot to learn, though."

Brennan smirked and wrapped her arms around him, leaning up to kiss him before rolling him back underneath her. "So do you. More than me, actually. A LOT more than me."

Booth loved the challenge in her eyes. His narrowed as she leaned down to kiss him. "Fine," he growled against her lips, tightening his hands over her backside in possession. "We'll just keep doing this until we both know everything."

She laughed and tossed her head back on a moan at the same time, looking down at him, knowing what he was doing, "Neither of us will ever know everything, but I still suppose that is a highly rational plan."

Booth smiled and nodded. "Fine," he repeated.

She pressed her lips right under his right ear, and his hips shot forward, just like she _knew_ they would. "Fine…" she whispered with a smile.

**--b&b--**

**~~The End!~~**


End file.
